Letter: Up to 1200 Words
40
Thinking of breaking up with someone? I will write you a "Dear John/ Jane" Letter. Want it to seem apathetic? How about a lil sad? Or just really pissed off and you're over it?
Is an ex bugging you? I will write you a sarcastically clear letter telling them to leave you alone. (The depth of sarcasm and humorous insult is totally up to you)
Trying to get out of a date? I will write you something that will make it clear you are NOT interested.
Want to tell your loved one just how much you adore them? Let me do it! And they will have those fuzzy feelings by the time they get to your signature.
Need to follow up on an interview? I will help you compose something to try to get that second glance! They also work for temp positions you want to secure.
Want to quit your job? Now this can go both ways... will you be using them as a reference?
The letter will be yours to use as your own work. I will take ZERO credit.
When contacting me I will need to know the mood of your letter requested. Angry, Happy, Sad, Nervous... Expletive. Ya know be clear what you want to convey.
I will send the finish pieces to you via message.
Now remember if you request me to write a letter to that annoying psycho from the club, that spits when they talk ... and you commission me to write a "buzz off letter" then later find out that they are an awesome person... I will not be held liable.
You missed out.
Now I would be willing to write a follow up letter that will TRY to fix it... but I doubt that it would.
The letter will be no more than 1200 words MAXIMUM, but I have been known to write some good ones at around 250.
Training & Qualifications
I have authored several books and as part of my consulting business I have also written various materials related to business. I have been commissioned on several projects as a ghost writer... and my crown jewel is:
I once wrote an angry break up letter the used the word F*ck over 300 times, accurately enough that the person who received it actually fell deeper in love with the person who gave it AND straightened their act up.
And they're married now.
Availability & Preferences
Now and again... but I check in daily.